Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
