Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
