I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
