I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I want is dick and wine.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
