Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
