Please, let me fuck your mom
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
