i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
