This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
