definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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