I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
