If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
