I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
