garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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