I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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