her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
