Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
