I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
