This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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