is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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