New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
