do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
