I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
