got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
