there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
