I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
