some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
