I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
