People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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