Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
