hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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