Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
