I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I love you. Go after that dick
as a side note pls kill me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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