i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
