Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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