if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
