What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
