You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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