yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
