Can i not drive my cunt home
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
