u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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