he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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