Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
