His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
