So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
