dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
