Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
