How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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