Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She bit a glass in half.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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