For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
