You made me cry and you don't even care
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
