Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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