I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
