Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
