So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize