First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
