found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
