Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
