some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize