Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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