awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
