How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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