I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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